a couple of weeks ago

Burnout, Violence, and Love

I have this crazy desire. It is the desire for freedom.

I don’t desire freedom in the future. That’s just a wish – a casual sort of interest.

This is a burning desire. And it cannot be fulfilled in the future. It can only be met now. It is urgent. It is utterly impatient.

When I call it crazy, I mean that it defies the mind. The mind claims so many limitations. But this desire doesn’t care. It pushes me over the edge now, now, now…always now.

It is insatiable.

[blog post continues below this form]

Download One of My Popular Books for Free

Just tell me where to send it and click the button below

The idea of freedom is nice and friendly.

The reality is raw and chaotic.

For the past several weeks I’ve had a kind of “writer’s block”. But on a slightly larger scale. Because I can’t seem to do anything that I don’t love doing.

I think the popular term for this is “burnout”.

I’m burned out.

I pushed and pushed and pushed myself. It was the only way I knew how to do life.

Even though I knew better. Even though I knew life didn’t need me to do life.

The arrogance, eh?

But that’s how I was conditioned. And I was afraid to let go of that.

So thank goodness for this burning desire. Because it burned me out.

I don’t need to let go. I can’t hold on.

Here’s what I’ve discovered so far:

To push myself to do life is violence. It is a war against myself. A war against life.

When I am burned out, I have a choice: continue to push and do violence or choose love.

In the midst of the struggle – I can lay down my weapons and discover freedom/love.

The more I lay down my weapons, the more I discover of freedom/love.

The more my heart is broken open, the simpler I become., the less burden I carry.

It is terrifying to be unarmed. But it is hell to work so hard to deny the ever-presence of love.

joeylott

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below

Leave a Reply:

Get the Free E-Book, Lose All the Way
x