last year

I want you to fail

It is true. I want you to fail.

With all my heart I want you to fail.

But only completely.

I want you to fail in your search for what you think will make you happy.

Because your search for what you think will make you happy is the only thing that makes you unhappy.

It is what causes your pain and struggle.

It wants more, more, more. Less, less, less. Different, different, different. No, no, no.

But don’t misunderstand me. Because I’m not saying I want you to restrain yourself from the search.

I’m saying I want you to fail.

Failing is falling. It is tripping and looking up and seeing it all differently.

From the normal perspective up here, it is so easy to mistake habits for the totality of reality.

But trip, fall, and then look up. Then you see differently. Everything you thought was the totality of reality is not actually available here if you pause for a moment to see this as it is.

Down here, having failed in the pursuit of winning…

…there’s just this as it is. All the assumptions can be left up there.

Down here, there’s just what’s happening. And who knows what this is?! Do you? If so, you haven’t failed.

And I hope your next failure is soon. Very soon.

If you’re willing to play with me for a moment…right now, come on, let’s be silly and play for a moment…If you’re willing to take your shoes and socks off and get down on the ground and look up…or just look out. Just look out. See whatever is here. Or just see. See without all the stuff that got left up there.

Down here there’s just seeing. Seeing freshly. Never happened before.

Now you can stand up if you want. Put on your serious face again. Stop playing if you want.

Or you can keep playing, even with serious face on. Even with all the other habits and niceties of life happening and even with all that life seems to “trigger” “for you”…why not keep playing?

Play and look out. Just see this as it is. Forget the drab, boring stories of the past for a moment. Just see.

Forget about all that boring grown-up stuff about achievement and self-image and whatever else grown-ups are so concerned with. Just for a moment. And see as you can even now remember having once done. And notice that it is still happening. And if you tell the truth for a moment, it’s never not happened. This seeing. Its happening now is everything that is.

Play and explore it like a child pretending to be a fearless adventurer. Pretend to be someone. Pretend the story. Pretend it all. Like it is for real.

And just notice that this is what is happening.

I want you to fail in your pursuits for happiness because they make you unhappy. This right now is already happening. This is already the miracle. Inconceivable. Ungraspable. And undeniable. Totally obvious.

Look out. It’s happening.

Joey Lott

Joey Lott is the author of numerous books, including The Best Thing That Never Happened and The Little Book of Big Healing. He lives in southern Vermont with his wife and children.

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