last year

On being a complete failure

I’m a big failure. (Sometimes, at least.)

I have big failure thoughts. Big failure feelings. Big failure insecurities. Big failure behaviors. (Sometimes, at least.)

It’s nice when we get to be nice, feel nice, have nice thoughts, act in nice ways.

But what kind of hell would it be if our fundamental okayness depended upon sustaining that niceness?

That would be horrible.

Fortunately, that’s not how reality actually is. Fortunately, reality is such that we get to be exactly as we are. And we can’t screw it up. No matter how much we worry about screwing it up and no matter how much we screw up according to our ideas about how things should be.

The big joke has many facets, many punchlines. Here’s today’s punchline: big failure thoughts, big failure feelings, big failure insecurities, and big failure behaviors are included in reality without discrimination. Life does not discriminate. All is received equally.


What needs to be hidden? What needs to be contrived? What needs to be altered to make you or me acceptable?


See? It’s such a big joke.

You don’t have to be a big failure just because I am. You get to be whatever you are. That too is received equally.

And then that which you imagine yourself to be and that which I imagine myself to be – failures or successes or anything else – it swept away and there’s nothing to grasp.

It all comes and goes. There’s nothing to possess. Nothing to claim.

Joey Lott

Joey Lott is the author of numerous books, including The Best Thing That Never Happened and The Little Book of Big Healing. He lives in southern Vermont with his wife and children.

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