a couple of years ago

Illuminating the uncomfortable path

I sometimes think I would like it if my life was all easy.

But my life is not all easy. And I know that yours isn’t all easy either.

And I also know that this is a blessing that our lives aren’t all easy.

Not that I believe we should shun ease. Nor am I suggesting that ease is necessarily bad.

But it is a blessing that our lives aren’t all easy because that unease acts like pruning shears. It cuts away all that is untrue and unnecessary.

It forces me and you to look at what we’ve been carrying and what we’ve been believing and ask ourselves, “Is this true? Is it worth behaving as if it were true?”

It keeps us honest.

Honesty is complex. Because what is true in one moment may not be true in the next moment. So we cannot cling to ideas or memories or beliefs to guide us.

That’s why I need the unease. It is my guide. It tells me where I’m mistakenly clinging to something untrue.

Of course, my mind has tried to claim this as a strategy in order to gain some kind of control over life. It’s done it again and again. It thinks, “Unease is the way. I’ll produce unease and shun ease in order to have power, and power is what I want, therefore I’ll be happy when I choose to be uneasy.”

That doesn’t work, though. That’s just misery.

But fortunately, the second I wake up to my mistake, I am pruned – liberated of what is not true.

This isn’t what I think I want. Because I don’t get to be the winner in this scenario.

Often, what I wake up to is a mess. I wake up to the mistakes I’ve made. The pain I’ve caused myself and others.

That’s not fun.

But it’s honest. And honesty liberates me from what is untrue.

It doesn’t provide a magical solution to the problems I thought I had. It does shed light on things as they are. And then, if I’m humble enough to do so, I get to take steps along that illuminated path.

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