I woke up irritable.
My partner, Sarah, wasn’t feeling well.
I got up – irritably – to feed and otherwise be available for my children.
And I didn’t like any of it.
I didn’t like being irritable – the shoulders tense, the knotting in the stomach. (Things I “should know better than”.)
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I didn’t like my behavior – the tone in my voice, the aggression in my demeanor and speech. (More things I “should know better than”.)
I just wanted it to go away. (Yet more that I “should know better than”.)
Because none of that is part of my self-concept.
My self-concept is nice, relaxed, at ease, friendly, kind, generous, selfless, happy.
Always because concepts are dead.
Life is alive.
Life isn’t always anything. It is dynamic. It is ungraspable.
So what should I do? Should I do a meditation? Should I breathe consciously?
How about this: nothing.
Like life (because it is life), the significance of “nothing” is dynamic. And I am ever-amazed at the ways in which nothing is possible.
It’s not a dead nothing – not a concept of nothing. Not like sitting in empty space with no light, no breeze, no movement, etc.
It’s a living nothing. It’s the complete ease of this as it is.
Which includes irritability and not liking irritability and not liking not liking irritability and so on to infinity.
Because, and I’m sticking my neck out here, I find no evidence whatsoever that any of this matters.
Meaning, why have I imagined that irritability is a problem?
If it’s not a problem – or at least if there’s no proof that it’s a problem – is there any obligation to do anything about it?
And even if I play along like it’s a problem and do something about it, is that a problem?
Nothing is so easy that it is mind-blowing. So easy that if difficulty occurs, even the difficulty is occurring with absolute ease.
Which is exactly what is happening.
The mind comes up with so many objections. But the objections happen with complete ease. Tension happens with complete ease. Because none of this is opposed.
Not even the opposition is opposed.
What if we get to be exactly as we are?