The objects of my fear are my salvation.
For most of my life I tried to avoid fear by avoiding the objects of my fear.
Here’s an example I have used many times in my writing: McDonald’s.
McDonald’s was the object of my fear. I tried to avoid my fear by avoiding the object of my fear: McDonald’s.
It did not work. It had the opposite of the intended effect. It drew me into a nightmarish web in which fear was everywhere and I also perceived the fear that was everywhere to be the worst thing possible.
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Fear is not the worst thing possible. It’s not even bad.
It’s just fear.
The objects of my fear – when I finally give in to them fully – save me from this nightmare.
They do so by revealing that the true nature of fear is not what I thought.
Fear is not even bad. It’s just fear.
It is also a strange kind of ecstasy. But not like I thought I wanted.
When I yield completely to the objects of my fear, when I stop trying to use them as tools to avoid my fear, I am saved from the struggle to be something separate from fear.
What a relief.